True, Kind and Necessary

In an effort to keep biting, fires and professional counseling to a minimum, a family member of mine has adopted the "True, Kind and Necessary Rule." Essentially it forbids you from speaking anything that is not true, kind AND necessary. No folks we're not buying doughnuts here. There's no picking and choosing from the rules, you're required to abide by all three guidelines at the same time.

Obviously it's a remarkable, but lofty goal and exceptional parenting. But really, is there anything left? It's the verbal equivalent to Oprah's dietary cleanse where you're prohibited from consuming red meat, fish, poultry, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, carbonation, sugar, white flour, gluten and pretty much anything else remotely palatable.

So, before you jump on the True, Kind and Necessary bus, consider this.

Scenario #1
You run into a friend from college whose baby of questionable gender has ear hair, webbed feet and squeals like a pig in a chipper. Using the True, Kind and Necessary rule, what do you say to her?
"Oh how cute. How old is he/she?"
Kind? Yes.
Necessary? Probably.
True? Not even close. Strike One.

I would personally go with "Hey, now that's a big baby! Wow, look at all that hair" (location omitted). Weak, I know, but it gets me over all 3 hurdles.

Scenario #2
Your pre-teen, preparing for her first middle school dance, emerges from her room looking like the love child of Heath Ledger as the Joker and the 1986 Mary Kay pink Cadillac recipient. Since it's her first foray into cosmetics and mixed gender social interactions, your concerns are justified. Your relationship has been tenuous at best lately due to the rollercoaser of hormones (hers pubescent and yours menopausal). At the risk of imposing Gregorian monk silence for the next decade, do you say "Hey Lolita, how about scraping some of that spackle off so you don't get tagged for soliciting?"
True? Oh yes.
Kind? Only in the long run.
Necessary? Legally and socially.

Scenario #3
Your husband returns from an exhausting day at work to find you've disfigured his highly polished, gas guzzling urban assault vehicle while almost squeaking through the drive up at Arctic Circle. His face clearly contorted with repressed rage, what can he say in accordance with the True, Kind and Necessary decree?
"It's okay darling, we can buff it out, AGAIN."
True? Oh no. This one's going to require bondo and professional intervention.
Kind? Very.
Necessary? Only if you'd like to stay married.

Needless to say there's a plethora of family, social and professional situations that make the True, Kind and Necessary mantra a very slippery slope. And even when you can perform the verbal gymnastics required to hit all three targets, are the results really what the founder intended?